| Playing the Game |
[Feb. 21st, 2007|09:11 am] |
I have come to the conclusion that there are two kinds of people in life; those who play the game and those who don’t. Someone might change from one to the other over time, and when that happens the transition is so defined.
People who go from not playing to playing do so out of need, desperation, and as a last resort, come to think of it, so do people who go from playing to not playing, but let’s look at the difference, shall we?
Someone who “plays the game” knows the ins and outs of a system, knows how to work their way through it, get what they want. In all these circumstances I’m talking about doing things honestly. I believe you can manipulate the system and take advantage of your opportunities without being dishonest. This kind of person wears suits to job interviews for jobs they will never need to wear a suit to, who goes to class even though they don’t want to in order to get the education needed to have a job that will make them enough money that they can retire early and comfortably, who takes a backseat when they know they would just cause trouble and hurt themselves if they spoke out.
Then there’s the non-player – the person who will never back down, never compromise “who they are” and “what they believe in” for the man; who will stand up for themselves or you until the bitter end. This person would not give a damn about what you think about their swearing or anti-conformist fashion.
The Transition
At the end of SLC punk, when Stevo becomes a law student and says he was a poser all along, it looks as though he’s been beaten into submission; that the system has won. All the time proud people choose eating over not-eating, a home over homelessness. They swallow their pride, put on a suit, and go and give bullshit answers to some HR person who doesn’t care about them. They realize they need the system, as much as it pains them.
Then there are the whistleblowers. The ones that have been pushed to the edge by an unjust system, cracked to the point of enlightening the world to it’s own messy, self-perpetuating flaws, who won’t sit and play nice, who value what is right over what is easy and challenge those morally corrupt to ownership of actions.
The main difference between these two transitions is that in the first, one is beaten into submission and forced to swallow their pride, thus hampering the spirit and potentially devastating one’s will. The second is a push to righteousness. A freeing of the spirit, however hard that may be, they have the moral upper hand (whether or not they actually have the moral upper hand is regardless as long as they believe they do, because the belief of having the upper hand lifts a spirit).
The Compromise
As Stevo also said, “I could do a hell of a lot more damage in the system than outside of it,” and I think he’s right. People need to learn to pick their battles. Decide what you want more. What are your sacrifices worth? How do you want to live after 18? Will your education, realistically, support that? What are your passions and dreams? Do you envision a world where the oppressed are free? How much are you willing to spend on that? And where would your resources be best spent? There are people who fight their whole lives for the rights and freedom of the unrepresented by going out and working as these people, but what about the billionaires who shower money upon worthy causes, are they not also just? They who have learned to play the system have not necessarily lost all hope, but have found another.
I play poker with my friends. I am not good at it, and I don’t really understand the way the game is played, which is my own failing for refusing to pay attention to or investigate the rules, or watch for nuances in my opponents’ attributes, but I am in the game nonetheless, just as we are in the game of life. We might not be good at it, but there’s only one way out, and if we want to be honest, we have two roads. Choose yours carefully, for there are many potholes and tolls. |
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| New World Systems |
[Dec. 28th, 2006|09:35 pm] |
Lying on the beach today with my family, my phone rings and the following ensues:
me: Hello?
on the phone: Hello, is Kate Maher there?
me: This is . . .
on the phone: Hi! This is *insert name* from New World Systems, you interviewed with us earlier this year in the spring.
me: Oh yes, I remember, how're your doing?
NWS: Well, thank you, and yourself?
me: Well. You're working today?
NWS: Yes . . . We were just wondering if you were still happy with the company you're working at?
me: Oh yes I am! Currently I'm lying on a beach in Florida!
NWS: Oh I'm jealous. Did you take a job in Florida?
me: No, I'm on vacation. I live in Ann Arbor and have a 15 minute commute.
NWS: . . . that sounds wonderful . . . well, if you ever consider switching jobs, please keep New World Systems in mind.
me: Oh I will! Thank you and have a great new year.
NWS: You too.
Not that I would even want to work for NWS, they're in Troy and have other questionable aspects, but it's nice to know I have marketable skills :)
I interviewed with this company in April . . . wow . . . ha ha ha. So if anyone's looking for a job and likes coding in Java, look them up! |
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| choices |
[Dec. 23rd, 2006|01:24 pm] |
Here is an article about a Jewish family's choice to celebrate Christmas.
I think I've finally come to accept that I can't control how other people celebrate Christmas. I realized it many years ago, but people just said to ignore it, celebrate in your own, personal way. But no one seems to accept that I hate Christmas carols, I hate "Christmas" stories, like the Christmas Carol, that I hate the trees and decorations. If I have to accept the bullshit that's constantly shoved down myh throat everyday all day for over a month, and on and off for at least six months out of the year, why can't others accept that I just want to be left alone? Why do you wish me Christmas cheer? Christmas to you isn't Christmas to me, so why should I have to be happy about it the same way you are?
I don't want to have to wait around until Christmas to be with my family or donate to charity or do whatever-the-hell else people do during 'the season.' I should do it all year around.
So here is what I propose. I will obtain a Hanukkiah. I don't know how to spell it, but it's what most people call a Menorah. And I'm going to get some pretty silver and blue candles, and light them in order. Why can't I blatantly disrespect other religious practices? I'll get a statue of Mary too . . . and something about Kwanzaa . . I'll figure it out. I'd pretend to celebrate Ramadan, but I like to eat during the day, as my protruding stomach clearly shows.
Oh but I couldn't, because I wouldn't disrespect a religion like that, but apparently since Christmas is so commercialized anyway, it's ok for others to do it. And besides, the tree was originally Pagan, right? And Christianity just took it over and brought in a bunch of Pagan rituals so it'd be easier for them to take over the world.
So either stop asking me to be happy about Christmas and sing carols, or come on over for Passover dinner. I'll be serving pork chops with clam chowder next to my nativity set under my Christmas tree with a bunch of candles lit. |
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| People are Idiots |
[Nov. 29th, 2006|12:56 pm] |
First of all, why would you make a desk out of a pane of glass and some unsteadily stacked books.
Secondly, you're using a fucking laptop, why are you crawling under said unsturdy desk? Turn the laptop around. I won't even get further into how ridiculous this scenario is.
Thirdly, stop using comcast.
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| office |
[Jul. 28th, 2006|07:41 pm] |
today, matt left, and i am the new database administrator and software programmer
wow
so i have an office, with three windows, a desk that goes almost all the way around the room, a nice computer, huge monitor . . . it's nice :)
i dusted and vaccuumed and installed software and hooked everything up and took out old, unusable computers . . . it's fantastic! |
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| forums |
[Jul. 19th, 2006|02:46 pm] |
the more i go through life,
the more i feel like i'm stuck in ender's game |
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| akward |
[Jun. 11th, 2006|11:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
i was watching the new sabrina today and there's this scene where they're on martha's vineyard and as they're having they're picture taken, harrison ford puts his arm around julia ormand, and she looks at him like 'oh my gosh, what are you doing? ok . . . i'll go with this for a while' i know exactly how she feels. i remember the first time zach put his arm around me, and the first time another friend of mind held my hand. the courage it must've taken them, and in the end their timing so poor.
i've been feeling jealous lately, and i hate that feeling. i've been trying to drown it out, reason it away and ignore it, but it's difficult. especially being jealous of my best friend. that's the worst. heh, i guess it's easier to be jealous of someone you don't like. but there's nothing i can do but be happy for her, and i am! and she's happy, so so am i. |
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| sometimes you just don't know what's right anymore . . . |
[Jun. 4th, 2006|01:08 am] |
do i tell someone i love very much news that they would be interested to know and kind of concerns them, or do i not tell them and save them a lot of heartache and anger and therapy? i care very much for this person and telling them might hurt them irreperably (sp?) i would never want to hurt them, but if i say nothing and they find out later, that might be worse.
always a delicate subject |
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| crazy |
[Jun. 3rd, 2006|03:37 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | canton, mi | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
i think i'm going crazy
i'm in love, absolutely in love
and not at all
the past week has been interesting, scary, curious and debauchery filled
so many different men
i'm so different than i thought i was
i've learned that as hard as i try, i'm not as honest as i thought i was, and it sickens me
but i just have to be better
peg is leaving me, heh, she's going to cali, being an executive director of a coop
empress of the hippies
life's great adventure
who would've thought such grand things would happen to us? to any of us? who could've forseen how how we've reached? how low we've sunk? and isn't it exciting we get to do it all over again?
we watched this movie tonight called grandma's house or something about this 35 year old video game tester who lives with his grandma. it was funny, but would've been funnier with weed. anyway, it made me realize just how far women in the tech industry will go to fit in. how we have to match and equal the guys, and how it always comes out as flirting. |
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| all alone |
[Feb. 10th, 2006|02:20 am] |
oh my gosh
i took the last ultrastrength painkiller from when i had a sinus infection cause i'm having a lot of other pain right now (i got a vicodin perscription but i haven't filled it yet) and now i'm really freakin high and therefore horny . . . not good. and i had about 10 ounces of black cherry vanilla coke . . . so now i have caffeine too. oh my gosh. gadi left for new york, and so i'm all alone with his cats. no one i can talk to here. erin's sleeping, she has work. i can't call mel cause that household has little kids. my body is shaking, can't sleep.
harold and kumar go to white castle is the funniest movie ever.
cats.
lots of cats.
help.
and my computer died. |
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| stolen from bluegoat143 |
[Jan. 14th, 2006|11:33 am] |
because i don't want to actually do any work right now . . .
( high school ) |
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| laforgetm and wet hot american summer |
[Dec. 26th, 2005|01:54 am] |
ewwwww :)
wet hot american summer
laforgetm |
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| holy crapulosite! |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|10:53 pm] |
although i have one exam to take left, i am confident in my ability to graduate college (that's right, i passed wcc physics!).
so i was filling out a web complaint about the umich engin site and i got to check an "alumni" box.
made me want to cry *sniff*
hell yeah!
btw: the Times (ny) recently featured an op-ed piece that includes the word "crapulosite" the article can be found here
please let me know if you know what that word means |
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| life up til now |
[Dec. 12th, 2005|05:16 pm] |
i got a job offer at a place in farmington
it's a really good offer
i'd be one of two female coders for a guy whose mouth i'd like to wash wish soap
but i'm still waiting to hear from my first choice
ahhh teach for america
the 20th at 8pm i'll know what's in store for me
it's so weird to be almost done with college. by far the best 4ish years of my life. all the craziness, trials, adventures, but most of all Love. i'll miss it so much. ha, maybe i'll even apply to grad school :)
it's also so weird to have a part of me missing.
i don't think Gadi is coming for graduation . . .
or ever.
i don't know what happened there.
hopefully i'll get to go snowboarding or skiing over break. see coffey, maybe go to iowa and some other neat places. i'd really like to go to another country, but i want some company, and the only person up for that . . . well i just don't know
and i've moved so much in college, but now this is the final move i guess. sure there's some move in the future to where i'll live in the real world, but for now this final farewell is so sad :(
so it's been crazy here. lots of snow, lots of swimming
and now . . .
to studying!!! |
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| ugly ugli |
[Nov. 15th, 2005|02:37 am] |
at the ugli at 2:30 on a monday working on user manuals
damnit
i'm tired and i want to go home
and i'm cold
at least i can get a cab for free
on a side note, i think i'm going to fail my stats exam. while this sucks, i think everyone else is in the same boat as me, so not to worry . . . or should i?
if anyone is in ann arbor and still up, email me in the next 20 minutes if you want to go to fleetwoods! |
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[Nov. 13th, 2005|10:48 pm] |
sometimes i miss gadi so much it hurts
he still doesn't call . . .
or im . . .
or email . . .
the only thing that's changed now is that i don't try to get him to do those things
i guess he's forgotten about me . . . so it'll be akward at thanksgiving
how heartbreaking to have someone tell you they can't stand to not even be friends with you, then show no interest in being friends with you
i haven't cried in a long time, but tonight seems like it's going to be one of those nights
how confusing to think you might spend the right of your life with someone, then to have them disappear . . . by choice . . . |
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| today has been a weird day |
[Nov. 9th, 2005|05:20 pm] |
aside from being chronically tired and now adding on a headache, today has been full of ups and downs
up: zach does indeed like me, he's just very shy
down: got an email from a geecs advisor saying she was very unhappy about geecs having and advising session against her and the eecs departments wishes
up: talked to the eecs department and they 100% support our efforts
down/up: quit geecs, i miss it already, but am happy to take a stand against the bullshit being thrown at us
up: I GOT AN INTERVIEW WITH TEACH FOR AMERICA!!! saweet! i have my letters of recommendation, my lesson plan, and my clothes all worked out, now i just need my official transcripts
up: going to the bar tonight with steve
on a completely different note, i want to get one of those wax seals, and i want to get it with the jerusalem's cross . . . wonder where i could find that without special ordering . . . |
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| teach for america |
[Oct. 31st, 2005|06:57 am] |
teach for america app is submitted! please pray that if i would really be a good fit and a useful person to these students that i am accepted, and that if i'm not suited i am turned down. muwhahahahaha
graduation countdown: 48 days
stuff to do: apply to terminate lease, write a paper on maxwell's equations, recommend recruitment options to the eecs department, study software documentation methods, kicks stats ass
countdown to thanksgiving vacation: 22 days
going to nyc! going to buy tons of cheap knockoff purses for $5 muwhhahaha
also, i'm not going to worry about a job or about my research too much. i can always continue later.
also, plans for after college include:
spanish school in guatemala!! |
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